Tasting one for the team: Root Beer Float cookies

Sometimes it can get a little heavy thinking and writing about the business all the time (in addition to running it), so I’ve been thinking of ways to shake things up a bit for the blog.

One thing you should know about me is that I have a soft spot in my heart for terrible junk food. I don’t buy that much junk food as a rule, but I always take note when I see or hear about new, weird flavors of candy or chips. I also happen to be a huge fan of the Onion A.V. Club’s Taste Test feature, where they eat truly horrible-sounding stuff like canned bacon and carbonated milk.

RootBeerCookiepkg

Sorry. It’s a little glare-y in our kitchen.

This is all a long-winded way of saying: sometimes we’re gonna try weird stuff and put it up on the blog! The A.V. Club actually beat us to this particular product, but there was no way I was going to leave Target without buying these.

So apparently there’s a whole line of Chips Ahoy! Ice Cream Creations, including Mint Chocolate Chip and Dulce de Leche. I didn’t get those flavors because they sound like they could actually be okay. A mint chocolate chip cookie? Ok, cool, sounds tasty. But Root Beer Float? In cookie form? This we had to try.

RootBeerCookie

UGH.

The cookie just looks like a regular chewy Chips Ahoy, right? Nothing too horrible here, right?

WRONG.  There’s definitely something off about the chips. They’re light brown and white, respectively; and they’re definitely not chocolate. Something sort of soft and waxy.

RootBeer_crammed

Oh, I see. They’re naturally and artificially flavored root beer and vanilla chips! Crammed in there. JUST CRAMMED RIGHT IN.

So, how’d they taste? I’ll let the photos speak for themselves.

 

JEN

Jen was brave enough to go first. The reaction was not good. “There’s a strange milky thing going on.” She actually spit it into the trash.

RootBeerCookie_Jen

 

MONIQUE

“This is pretty rank. It tastes…plastic-y.” Monique also spit it into the trash.

RootBeerCookie_Mo

 

LIZ

“The most upsetting thing is how fizzy it tastes. It tastes fizzy. How is that possible?” (I spit it out too.)

RootBeerCookie_Liz

 

MICHELLE

“This is really terrible, you guys. I might cry.”

RootBeerCookie_Michelle

 

JESSIE

In the saddest voice ever, before she took her bite, Jessie said: “I don’t even like root beer.” You can see how sad she is in this photo.

RootBeerCookie_Jessie

She had nothing more to say. Just chewed it up and spit it right out. (Also, note Jen laughing at Jessie in the background. Heartless.)

 

RESULTS

We universally hated it. It’s weird and gross and you shouldn’t eat it. Four out of five BLERGHs.

 

Welp, that’s it for the first episode! Hope you enjoyed; I’ve been scouring the aisles for more questionably-flavored snack foods, but feel free to tip us off to stuff we should try in the comments. Stay tuned — there will be another real post on Friday!

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