Tasting One for the Team: Chip Edition, part 2
Welcome back to Tasting One for the Team, where I (Liz) foist unusual snack foods on my hapless colleagues and document the results for posterity! (Also, amusement.)
Our last installment left us at haggis-flavored chips and a resounding “meh.” Onward, brave snackers!
Now it’s time for a palate-cleansing Limón, again courtesy of our Colombian friends.
“Of course we’re doing this on the day I made myself sick by eating like a pound of passion spice caramels.”
“They’re not bad at first, but then they get really…” (makes a face)
“They taste stale.”
“This is like a lime with low self-esteem.”
Not nice. We all had to take a few swigs of water to get the sad-lime taste out of our mouths. 4 BLERGHs.
SPAM CLASSIC FLAVOR MACADAMIA NUTS
These were courtesy of our lovely bookkeeper Melanie, who’d picked them up on her honeymoon in Hawaii. Nice to know she was thinking of us!
Honestly, I was reeeeeeal excited about these. SPAM! Nuts! Spam nuts! It’s just a delightful concept. “Salted nuts? Bah! So pedestrian. Let’s roll ’em in a highly spiced, meaty powder instead.” (…is how I imagine that conversation went.) And, by the by, there’s no indication as to whether or not there is actual meat in here; the only two ingredients listed are macadamia nuts and “SPAM Brand Flavoring.” Mmmmm…flavoring.
So how did they taste?
“I don’t think I’m gonna try that.”
“They’re a little weird to be honest, but…”
“They’re so pink!”
“They don’t even taste meaty, they just taste…salty.”
“You know what? I’m glad they don’t taste like anything.”
“These are just…mildly odd.”
Disappointingly un-gross. Just mildly salty macadamia nuts. (At the time of this posting, I have almost finished the can. -ed.) 1 honorary BLERGH, just for the concept.
LAY’S CHICKEN & WAFFLES
Monique had actually had these before. (Her take: “These are worse than I remember.”)
“I don’t feel well. So many…tastes.”
“I REALLY don’t like this.”
“It’s like Log Cabin syrup, and…”
“And stale Popeye’s. Like stale chicken crust.”
“Those are rough. Pretty nasty.”
“Do not recommend.”
“Ugh, the aftertaste is the worst part.”
Yuck. 5 BLERGHs.
Not excited about these. They actually look the worst of the lot, too: very powdery, and very, very…brown.
The ingredients are not reassuring. Milk + cinnamon + butter ≠ cappuccino. (No caffeine, though, so that’s a plus.)
“That is legitimately fucking gross. Everything about this is bad and wrong.”
“Why are they so cinnamon-y?”
“This shit tastes like Sanka.”
“It’s like every bad artificial flavor in the world.”
“They taste greasy. Like, GREASY.”
“There’s a lot of milk powder in here.”
“Do you remember those Cafe Classics things? The International coffee powder things? It’s like a mouthful of that powder. It’s foul.”
Awful and offensive. 5 out of 5 BLERGHs and a bonus Uggggggh.